The Kindness of Strangers
Today I share an experience about which I posted on Facebook last week. I was yuper (as my little grandson Elouin used to say until recently) moved by what happened. As it turned out, many who read the story were also yuper moved. So, I’ve decided to share it here with you.
At the beginning of the post, you will see reference to “Day 158” and my pausing to notice love, joy and wonder. no matter what else is going on. I do not post every day, but whenever I do, I feel better for having done so, hoping that perhaps even just one other person might also.
So here goes…
Day 158 of pausing to notice the love, joy and wonder there is in life (no matter what else is going on).
If this post were to have a title, it would be “The Kindness of Strangers.” First some context…
Yesterday, my son, who has intellectual differences, was put on the wrong train heading back from Philly (where he was celebrated for his birthday, and rejoiced with family in the Eagles’ win). Instead of boarding “the Vermonter,” a direct train to Northampton, MA with no train changes, he was heading north to Newark, having been told by the conductor that he better get off in Newark “or you’ll be in trouble.”
Being clued in by Philly family to whom he reached out first from the train, I called my son—making sure to regulate my own nervous system before connecting with him, given what was likely his state of anxiety.
I reassured Eman that he would be okay; he would get home safely. I explained that I was about to reach out to Amtrak and would be back in touch with him soon. In the meantime, I instructed Eman that, if and when the conductor was to come by, to ask how Eman might find train #56 in Newark. (I knew that the Vermonter had a stop there: maybe he could meet it?) I encouraged Eman to listen for the conductors’ reply (anxiety often derailing his receiving and processing information).
I got on the phone with Amtrak, hoping I might get help sorting out the options for getting him safely home. Thankfully, I was connected with a patient and understanding agent.
Sparing you all the details—which included neither Philly family nor and my son knowing the number of the train he was actually on (I texted Eman to ask someone sitting nearby)—the agent and I figured out that the train he was on and the train that he was meant to be on would be arriving in Newark within what looked like less than five minutes of each other.
Meanwhile, my son texted me: “A gentleman is getting off at the same place and is going to help me get to the right train.!”
The first tears of relief filled my eyes.
As I continued with the Amtrak agent, she suddenly said excitedly: “it looks like the Vermonter is running late! “
More tears. The agent was happy with me. More kindness of strangers.
I relayed the information to Eman, encouraging him again to remain as calmly focused as possible on getting to the right track. And to PLEASE thank the gentleman from me for his help!
Next text: “My train is going to arrive in 5 minutes and someone is waiting with me.! “
I met Eman at the train station in Northampton, Train #56 arriving those 15 glorious minutes late that allowed Eman to board in Newark.
As we rode home from the train station, I learned more…
The gentleman, whose name Eman had found out is Joe, had leaned over from his seat and said “very kindly” that he had overheard Eman’s conversation with me. He told Eman that he was getting off the same place as Eman and that he would be happy “to help with whatever you need.” And he did. He lead Eman through the train station to the right track for the Vermonter and waited until Eman boarded.
Joe’s last words to Eman were “now you can text your mom and tell her not to worry..”
Listening to Eman, again my eyes filled with tears, along with my heart so so full of gratitude for the kindness of strangers. I found myself wishing, a prayer offered within myself, to be such a stranger were I to perceive a need I could address in another stranger.
🤎
Eman found out while they were waiting that Joe was in NJ for the funeral of his great aunt. It was not lost on me that I have no idea how Joe voted in the last election, how Joe identifies, politically or in any other way. What I glimpsed without seeing Joe, is the light of his soul.
Safe travels, Joe. May your light be reflected back to you…
Another Joe
I posted this in the comments section below my original post:
I just want to add another reflection of kindness that connects with the story above.
I was with the contractor that did the beautiful work in my kitchen when I got word of Eman being on the wrong train. He had come to do some work and we were in the middle of sorting some things out. Of course, I had to absent our conversation immediately.
After I found out that the Vermonter would be late and Eman had help getting to the track, I saw that the contractor – whose name is Joe!—was still here, waiting in my shoe room. I assumed he was long gone!
He had interacted with Eman several times; knew something of his cognitive differences, and was waiting to hear how it was working out. He had heard my relief and saw my tears.
At the door, this Joe asked me to text him when Eman was safely on the right train. Then he left for the job where others were waiting for him.
Joe is not a complete stranger but neither is he someone I know well. What I do know about him— after he spent months in my home and has served me and my daughter’s family with his skills in countless ways—is that he is a mensch. I also am fairly certain that he is a Republican and likely voted for someone who is not a mensch. But Joe IS one: kind, decent and honest. A dharmic man, for those who understand that reference.
Admittedly, I cannot fathom his party choice and did not “go there” with him, tempted as I was.
I continue to believe that there is more inherent kindness than otherwise among us. May our collective human kindness and decency trump the fear and manipulation undermining our unity.
More Kindnesses
A few of the loving, inspiring comments from others in response to my story.
Oh, my. Just, oh, my… what a world of wonder. And as I read your words, I could feel my own nervous system syncing up with yours, with Eman’s, offering calm, steadiness, focus. Who’s to say these “imaginal” echoes of our intentions and visceral alignments do not influence other moments where others are feeling–or are–lost, on the wrong train…that these vibrations don’t live in the ethers, available, perhaps as angels, waiting to whisper to any “Joe” that it’s time to act. ~Lynn Koerbel
***
Thank you Joe the mother,
Joe the train rider,
Joe the Amtrak agent,
Joe the train attendants,
Joe the misguided which train to take ‘helper’, Joe-that-delayed-a-train, …
Each actor, entity who had a role –
and us Joe-folk who are witness to and reminded of the goodness! Leaving memory ~and vibration(s) of “YES, we can do this!”
~~~~and that ~~~~
Beyond right and wrong ~~~~ I’ll meet you there! ~Karuna Burgess
***
Your post brought tears to my eyes. As the mom of 2 adult kids with disabilities I have been so frightened lately. Your words were like a salve to my parched heart…I truly believe that light will prevail. ~Karen S.
***
Strangers become angels when they take on such acts, acts of kindness. ~Joannie Levine
***
So nice to focus on happy. ~Patricia MacFarlane
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