Some years ago, I wrote a bit of a rant in my journal that I never expected to share with anyone, given what seemed to me the extreme and perhaps strange passion expressed there.
As I get older, I find that I get out of my way more and more, which has led me to progressively renounce the “terminal uniqueness” and self-consciousness that often characterize youth (pubescence especially).
So, one day, almost a year ago, I came upon that poem-rant and next thing I knew I was submitting it for publication to the Whirlwind Review, an online literary journal, “dedicated to the intersections of writing and spirituality.”
A few weeks back, two days after my 68th birthday, that poem, “Wanting Words,” was featured on Whirlwind Review to my delight (and not to my embarrassment).
I want to share “WANTING WORDS” with you in case you might enjoy it and, also, in case sharing it might inspire you to share what you may have kept hidden, whether your writing or some other form of expression.
So here goes….
CLICK HERE and listen to me read Wanting Words to you…
WANTING WORDS
Do I want words the way I should be wanting God?
Willing to give up everything for one enormous gulp
as if words were my air? Dying to lose myself
to a luscious swim in deep ideas,
to a board-whacking dive into the heart of things—
any sacrifice for the sensuousness of my pen on paper?
The sun sets, crickets chant. No one is waiting for
me to make dinner, phone calls, or love. I imagine
nothing else but my next words. Would I give up
any aspiration, appointment, meal, conversation,
love affair, parent-teacher conference, shopping trip,
vacation, compliment, heart to heart anything and
all things for a great poem? For a lip-smacking
steady towards the climax, mind-blowing orgasm of
words—a banner, ribbon, river, continent, a ship
of words, a bridge, an arc, a horizon of words?
Shouldn’t I pant after God this way? God’s breath
on my neck? God’s gaze? The subtle thrill
of God’s embrace taking me into the space
beyond wanting where I am so filled with silence
I do not even think about words.
Or do I meet God
in my words? God celebrating God.
Am I the poem? Yearning only to know
the One who writes me?
G'Mar Chatima Tova
I close with this customary greeting whose literal meaning is: "a good final sealing." I will add to that: May you know the love of which you are made. What better than to know this?
With gratitude,
Ani
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I would love to hear from you.
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The following comments were posted on the Whirlwind Review site (not including my replies). All can be found at the link in the post to the Whirlwind Review page.
Joan Leotta on April 4, 2016 at 9:38 pm said:
great poem, deep thought
Chris Mayhew on April 10, 2016 at 5:36 pm said:
Wallace Stevens, one of my favorite poets said: “After one has abandoned a belief in god, poetry is that essence which takes its place as life’s redemption”
Chris Forsyth on April 4, 2016 at 10:34 pm said:
These words are an eloquent expression of the yearning of a writer to find God in her words, and her words in God. I love the way Ani has brought this together in such a resonant way.
Tricia Knoll on April 4, 2016 at 10:47 pm said:
Very nice!
Alisande on April 4, 2016 at 11:23 pm said:
Wonderful, easy to stay engaged with.. poem, Ani. Got me thinking about the great mysteries and the pure pleasure of lively inquiry about being human. Thank you for slowing us down, making us smile and wonder.
frank cavano on April 4, 2016 at 11:33 pm said:
Ani, what a profound and honest poem. Sometimes I am in love with what I write as if it were a better me. And, I believe, this “better me” is What We truly Are Egos aside, as your poem notes, we are the poem that Oneness writes. Thanks for reminding me.
Parvati Grais on April 4, 2016 at 11:43 pm said:
Beautiful Ani.
Everything in me says Yes to your final questions.
Marianne Lyon on April 5, 2016 at 12:23 am said:
A beautiful poem. More please.
Arthur C. Ford on April 5, 2016 at 10:52 am said:
good, capturing poem.
one is compelled to read it once started,
brilliant, cliffhanging close!!!!!
Susan Lenoe on April 5, 2016 at 11:36 am said:
Wonderful poem…
Michele on April 5, 2016 at 6:30 pm said:
Dear beautiful Ani, thank you for sharing such a thought provoking and passionate poem.
Chris Mayhew on April 10, 2016 at 5:36 pm said:
Wallace Stevens, one of my favorite poets said: “After one has abandoned a belief in god, poetry is that essence which takes its place as life’s redemption” I love your poem!